Yesterday was the first time my family had been to an in-person church service since March 2020. We’d been attending virtually for quite some time and, as such, had gotten used to a very different Sunday morning routine.

Life is so much easier when you can participate in activities from home in your pajamas while sipping a hot cup of coffee.

As you can imagine, yesterday was a bit of a mess as we tried to prepare for church. We needed showers, we needed to get dressed in something other than comfy pants and t-shirts, and we had to get out the door and be at church by 9 AM.

Nothing short of a miracle was going to make everything happen that needed to happen to get my daughter to Sunday School class yesterday, the driving force behind our in-person visit as they were supposed to visit the church library.

An epic field trip, to be sure, consisting of a trip down a flight of stairs and walking about 250 feet from her Sunday School classroom. But, in the midst of a pandemic, you take what you can get to make life a little more interesting.

Somehow we made it. But the rest of the day sucked. Without question, the morning’s events jacked up the rest of the day and left us all thinking about what we could do to make it better.

Maybe we were just out of practice. Maybe we (I should say “I”) didn’t really want to go to church yesterday morning. Or maybe, just maybe, we weren’t set up for success because we ignored some simple rules that would have made the day better.

In my own attempt to better prepare for our next in-person church trip, and for a general reminder to myself and whoever may be reading this, I put together a shortlist of tips that will help you, and I have a better day.

There is nothing revolutionary to share here, but oftentimes we forget the simple things that make our lives better. At least, I forget them, and I’m hoping that at least some of you do, too.

Sit

If I’m not able to have a few moments to myself in the morning, my day doesn’t end up going so well. I need some time in the morning to acclimate to a new day, focus on just being, and getting in the right mindset to take on the day. This means that I spend some time reading and sitting quietly. On most days, it also means that I do a ten-minute mediation with the Calm app.

Your quiet time may look similar, or it may look completely different. Some people take time in the morning to pray. Some sit and think. Some sit so quietly but sit and listen to music that helps them center themselves.

Whatever works for you, take some time to yourself in the quiet hours before the day begins.

Write

I also spend some time journaling. What I write about depends on the day: sometimes I reflect on the previous day (which this article came from) and sometimes plan out my day. Most of the time, my writing is almost completely “stream of consciousness” and has no theme whatsoever.

My journaling is very often a brain dump that gets stuff out of my head. It allows me to think more clearly and helps bring some order to the constant stream of activity that lives in my grey matter. My brain doesn’t like to stop, which doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m thinking grand thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts are, “oh, I forgot to pick up deodorant yesterday so let’s do that, and also I need to see if that package is coming in the mail and I’ve got to get more toothpaste and how am I going to design this next professional development session for my teachers and what’s for dinner?”

Your brain may be equally as untamed as mine. Spend some time clearing thoughts from your head each day.

Sweat

I will be the first person to tell you that working out is 100% not my thing. It isn’t. I’ve always thought that my body was merely the delivery vehicle for my brain, and I wasn’t concerned with how I treated it. Thus, I’m 44 years old, severely overweight, and struggle to walk up more than one flight of stairs without feeling a blast furnace in my chest.

This year (actually beginning in December of last year), I started working with a personal trainer. I go to his gym three days a week. And every time I go, I almost leave before going inside. It’s a battle.

But it’s a simple process. Pick up heavy things, put them down. Repeat.

Yes, I still hate working out. Yes, it sucks on so many levels that I can’t even begin to describe. Yes, I’m sore. Yes, I hurt.

But when I’m done, I feel good, so much better than when I don’t work out.

So much so that, even on days when I’m not going to the gym, I find time to get in some exercise in the morning. For me, it’s becoming a key part of having a good day.

For me, each day is its own adventure and brings its own set of challenges. Working in education, I very often have no idea what obstacles I will face on any given day. I have to come into every day with a great mindset and an uncluttered mind.

Sit. Write. Sweat. These things help me face my day and help me feel like I am doing the work I was meant to do, that we were all meant to do, to be a good person.

How about you? What sets you up for success each day?

This piece originally appeared on An Idea (By Ingenious Peace) on Medium

I’ve been far more active on social media over the past couple of months than I have in a long time. Even more so since the 2020 Presidential election was called for Joseph Biden.

I’ve been quiet for a long time because, well, life. Starting a new career, finishing three degrees in eight years, starting a family, you know.

But, there’s a reason I’m taking more action and being more vocal lately.

Here we go…

When I was growing up, I was bullied. A lot.

Yes, there were a few physical altercations but mostly verbal ones. I was a pretty shy kid and I moved to a new town and school in between 4th grade and 5th grade.

I was and have always been a geek. I love the things that, during the eighties, it wasn’t so cool to love, unlike the Geek Renaissance we’re experiencing right now in pop culture.

The school system I moved to was fairly small and fairly elite. And by elite I mean that, if you weren’t from the town, you weren’t accepted. It was even worse for a kid who didn’t play sports, liked comic books, cartoons, and sci-fi/fantasy books. And whose parents were not members of the wealthy elite.

I saw bullies of every variety over the next 7 years until I graduated. I saw kids and parents who would do just about anything they wanted to because they believed they could. And no one stopped them.

I saw a football player come out from a hallway wall and punch me right in the stomach because he thought it was funny.

I saw clothes stolen out of my locker during gym class and stored in other places by people who just thought it would be fun.

I saw a student gripe and complain about not being able to cut through the high school parking lot during a marching band practice because, you know, there were students out there working hard and then I saw the same student write an article in the school paper about it with the full blessing and support of the newspaper sponsor; a bully teacher herself who would go on to become the high school principal and spew her poison on other students for years to come.

I saw bully parents and bully students fully support a basketball team that went 2-20 or something in one season but had a hard time supporting a marching band that won contest after contest and a state championship, excelling at every level but getting no respect from anyone even when no other extracurricular activity at that school was doing much of anything in the way of “winning.”

I saw kids punched in bathrooms, kicked in hallways, backpacks stolen, and a whole host of other despicable behavior that was never properly addressed or stopped because “they’re just kids” or “we’re a good school” or “we have great test scores” or “it’s just part of growing up.”

And then, on Wednesday, January 6, 2021, I saw those same bullies, or at least people who acted the same way, break through barriers at the Capitol Building in Washington, DC, and waltz into the halls of Congress, destroying property, endangering lives, and attempting to stop or overturn the certification of the results of an election that has been verified as legitimate over and over and over again.

All because the king bully told them to. All because they didn’t get their way, even though they really have no reason to be upset at all and their lives haven’t been affected like the thousands of others who protested in the last year who had legitimate grievances.

I’m upset because I’ve seen lots of bullies in my life and, if we don’t do something about, the bullies will continue to win.

Stop the bullies. They’re not worth it. They are the lowest form of human. They are crybabies, they are weak, they are small.

I’m going to be significantly more involved in future elections and getting the right people in office who are ready to take action and make drastic change to create a better future for our nation and the world.

I don’t know where to begin but am actively seeking how I can help in whatever way I’m able. So if you know of someone to direct me to or are one of those people, hit me up.

Don’t let the bullies win.

Photo credit: Photo by JIM LO SCALZO/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock (11695261g)
Supporters of US President Donald J. Trump outside the senate chambers after breaching Capitol security in Washington, DC, USA, 06 January 2021. Protesters entered the US Capitol where the Electoral College vote certification for President-elect Joe Biden took place.
Protestors enter US Capitol, Washington, USA – 06 Jan 2021

As if writing down your thoughts and processing through what you are experiencing wasn’t a good idea before, during the unusually historic times we are living in now (just when we thought 2021 would wipe a miserable 2020 from our memories HELLO ATTEMPTED SIEGE ON Washington DC) it may be more important than ever.

Many of us have made journaling part of our daily routine for some time. Throughout history, many of the wisest among us have taken time daily to process their thoughts and, very often, give themselves feedback on things they should be doing, how they can improve their own lives, and how to deal with what they are experiencing.

Journaling isn’t just a daily reporting of events, it’s an art.

Journaling is self-care.

Journaling can help you heal.

The art of self-reflection and dealing with all the stuff that’s floating around in your head. Getting it on a piece of paper or typed in a document is cleansing and very often revelatory.

Also, you’re leaving a legacy. Just because your journals may be mostly directed at you doesn’t mean that others won’t benefit from reading them at some point.

Thanks, Marcus Aurelius.

When epic events like the COVID-19 pandemic, the 2020 United State Presidential Election, Brexit, and who know what else 2021 will bring at us happen, your journal provides insight to history.

You’re creating primary sources for future generations.

And it doesn’t matter if you’re writing your thoughts in an actual journal (here’s my favorite), a text editor on your computer, or if you’re drawing pictures, creating movies, whatever.

Journal. Daily, if you can.

Take the time. Write. Get your thoughts on paper. Who cares if it doesn’t read well or isn’t grammatically correct. That’s not important.

Contribute your thoughts to the world.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

The President arrived back at the White House at 1:40 PM and went for a swim. I sat on the side of the pool, and we talked. At 2:30 PM we walked up to the Oval Room. – Robert Kennedy, Thirteen Days

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m a hothead. I react to things far more quickly than I need to, often having to backtrack statements or actions that I made in the heat of a moment. Far too many times, I’ve overreacted and said things or done things that are, in retrospect, not only stupid but embarrassing. I mean, I’m a grown man! Why do I still struggle with temper tantrums? (Because that’s really all they are. See, told ya, embarrassing.)

Even in the classroom, where my composure is supposed to be total and my responses to anything should always be measured, more times than I’d like to admit I failed horribly at being the understanding and supportive teacher. Total and utter failure on so many fronts.

It’s one of the reasons why I invest time working on myself and why I’ve found some purpose in studying the stoic philosophy which is grounded in not overreacting and accepting that what is is and that I am in 100% in control of how I respond to anything that happens to me.

So, when I read Thirteen Days, Robert Kennedy’s memoir of the Cuban Missile Crisis, I was struck by the statement I shared at the beginning of this article. If there was ever a time when someone could have overreacted, President John F. Kennedy would have been justified as the Soviet Union secretly moved nuclear weapons into Cuba.

But, no, that’s not what happened at all. In the days leading up to the Cuban Missile Crisis, President John F. Kennedy presented the ultimate expression of cool, calm, and collected.

Evidenced by aerial photography, the Soviet Union had begun a buildup of weaponry on the island nation of Cuba, some 90 miles south of the coast of Florida. Needless to say, the world stood still for a brief time in the fall of 1962 as the great superpower nations of the world stood toe-to-toe in a standoff sure to change the course of history.

I, for one, am glad I was not the occupant of the Oval Office in late 1962. I’m also grateful that many of the decision makers of that time did not have the final say in how the United States would deal with the Soviet Union.

President Kennedy, surrounded by knowledgeable advisors, each with their own assessment of how to handle the situation, kept his composure and refused to act quickly, knowing that if he made the wrong decision, there might not be anyone left to tell the story.

If you’re unfamiliar with the events of October 1962, you may not know that there were two camps in dealing with Cuba and the Soviet Union: invade Cuba or blockade any Soviet ships from reaching Cuba. Many of the Joint Chiefs of Staff favored the invasion action, believing that the only response the Soviets would understand was a strong military response. Others, including Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, advocated for a blockade.

On a Saturday morning, President Kennedy was in Chicago when his brother, Attorney General Robert Kennedy, phoned him and said they were ready to meet with him and make a decision on the US response. The President cancelled his trip and flew back to the White House.

Now, here’s where the story takes an interesting turn. Rather than rushing to meet with his senior advisors as soon as he arrived in Washington, DC, President Kennedy returned to the White House to meet with his brother.

And he took a swim.

Think about that for a moment. At first glance, you may feel indignant. You may think that taking a swim at that moment in time was a waste and may even fuel the playboy image of JFK that was fueled by the tales surrounding his life. You may question why he stopped to take a swim rather than heading directly into a meeting.

I feel confident that JFK was not shirking his responsibility by taking a detour to do a few laps in the pool. I don’t think he was trying to postpone the decision.

I believe he wanted some time to think and prepare himself for what he was about to do. So, he took a swim. Eventually, the decision was made to begin a blockade of Cuba, ultimately leading to the resolution of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

I wonder how things might have been different if JFK hadn’t taken that swim. Hadn’t taken those few minutes to focus on breathing, focus on himself, focus on his thoughts. And focus on how the decision he was about to make would impact not only his presidency but his life and the lives of millions around the world.

This was not a moment that called for overreaction but for quiet thought and reflection.

Very few times in our lives will we be faced with a decision that has the kind of impact Kennedy had when choosing to blockade ships rather than begin an all-out invasion of Cuba. But there is no less reason for us to take a moment before we react to any situation and reflect on what we are doing, how we will respond, and the possible outcomes from our response.

Why aren’t we willing to take time to think, to be still, to breathe before making decisions that affect our lives and those around us? Why aren’t we willing to think about what we do in the classroom in the heat of the moment? Why should we be any less concerned about the consequences of our actions will be in our classroom, our school, and in the lives of our students?

When you are faced with a difficult situation in the future, before responding, maybe you should take a swim. Or go for a walk. Or sit in silence. However you choose to think about your response, take the time to think through the repercussions of what you decide to do. Seek wise council, if possible. Get more information on what lead to the development of this particular situation.

Keep strong, is possible. In any case, keep cool. Have unlimited patience. – Basil Liddell Hart, Deterrent or Defense

Have unlimited patience. You do not know the whole story, you do not know how others will react. Think it through and be confident in your response.

I know this task will be difficult for me but is well worth the investment of time and energy to become a better person and education. I hope you take the time to evaluate your own responses to situations in the past and use that evaluation to be better informed in the future.

Photo by syahdan fadillah on Unsplash

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